Check, Please
by Renendra
Summary: Shepard and Liara are on shore leave, and Liara has arranged a double date at the famous sushi restaurant on the Citadel. Little does Shepard know that she's in for a surprise when her cousin and her cousin's girlfriend arrive. Sadly, this little family get together is ruined, as always, by awkward social interaction and people trying to kill Shepard. -Crack fic-


**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Mass Effect or Pitch Perfect Related. This is a Mass Effect/Pitch Perfect oneshot crossover. Please Enjoy.

 **I am dedicating this Crossover Fic to my lovely friend Tori for giving me this amazing idea. I hope you like it!**

* * *

On most nights, the Citadel was relatively busy. Tonight was no different. Liara had booked a reservation at her favorite sushi restaurant for a table of four. She hadn't been out with Shepard in such a long time, and they were on shore leave after all, how could the Commander refuse? What Shepard wasn't aware of was that she had invited one of her younger cousin's from Earth and her girlfriend to visit.

Liara and Shepard were the first to arrive and were seated within minutes due to Shepard's elevated status among the populace. Liara had decided to wear a long elegant blue gown, and Shepard had worn a very nice looking cocktail dress. As they were led to a small booth, Shepard rose an eyebrow at their choice in seating. She turned and grabbed their waiter before he ran off.

"Hey, we don't need this much room. Is there someplace…" Liara just took Shepard's free hand and dragged her to sit in the booth beside her. She smiled at the frazzled waiter and waved him off.

"Thank you. That will be all. Just let our guests know where we are when they arrive. Oh, and can we have a water and a scotch on the rocks?" The waiter nodded at Liara and quickly sped off the second he got the chance to. Everyone knew that although Shepard was out to save everyone, she was still incredibly intimidating. The last thing you wanted to do was piss off her bondmate.

At the first opportunity, Shepard turned to Liara and gave her a knowing look. She crossed her arms in question. The edges of Liara's lips curled up in an innocent smile and she leaned over and kissed Shepard on the cheek. "Don't worry, Jane. It's a nice surprise." If there's one thing Commander Shepard didn't enjoy, it was surprises. They usually ended in phrases like "Oh, Shit," or, "Again?!" Either way, any surprise was not a good surprise, no matter how you went with it.

Moments later the waiter returned with their drinks. Perhaps the alcohol in her system would settle down her nerves. Liara took Shepard's hand in hers and patiently looked over the menu. After about ten minutes of waiting, Shepard felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up and saw the stunning smile that could only belong to the face that was wearing it. Shepard stood up and hugged the shorter redhead in front of her.

"Chloe! I didn't realize you were going to be here! I thought you were back at the colony with your parents?" Chloe laughed and returned Shepard's hug eagerly.

"Nope. Mom and Dad said I could come stay on the citadel for a little while. We were informed by a certain blue asari that you were going to be here and she invited us to dinner." Upon hearing the word 'us', Shepard took notice of the shorter brunette with her. Chloe noticed her staring. "Oh, Jane, this is Beca. My girlfriend." Chloe took Beca's hand and pulled the nervous girl forward. Shepard reached out to shake her hand and Beca hesitantly took it. Everyone took their seats, and the waiter returned with a water for Beca and a tea for Chloe.

"So, uh, how do you all know each other?" Beca asked after a few moments of silence. Chloe grinned.

"Commander Shepard is my cousin. Our mothers are sisters. It's kind of on the down low though. It could cause us a lot of problems if they found out we were related." Beca nodded, seemingly pleased with the answer. "Oh, and this is Liara T'Soni. Jane's bondmate."

"Hello." Beca nodded back a greeting. She was so awkward when it came to this meet-and-greet stuff, but if it made Chloe happy then she would suck it up.

"Alright, are we all ready to order?" The waiter appeared beside the table, pulling a datapad from his pocket.

"I think I'll try the calamari." Liara said and handed over the menu. Beca's head snapped up and her mouth fell open.

"Isn't that like, cannibalism?" The table grew quiet and suddenly Beca felt a sharp pain coming from her leg. "Ow!" Beca rubbed her the aching spot, glaring over at Chloe who was simply smiling as if nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry Liara, Beca forgets her manners when she's hungry and that asari physiology shares nothing in common with certain aquatic animals." Chloe handed her menu over to the waiter, making distinct eye contact with Beca. "I'll have the spicy tuna roll please."

Liara seemed confused as the two human that say across from her. "Oh, that's alright. Can I actually get a grilled Thessian Sunfish instead? Thank you."

Shepard handed her menu over after barely perusing it. "I'll have a steak. Medium."

The only one that hadn't ordered was Beca. Everyone was looking at her and all she could feel was the paranoia of screwing up this double date for everyone. Her eyes landed on the next thing she saw and ordered out of panic.

"I'll have the Khar'shan Snapping Eel on white rice!" The waiter gave Beca a strange look at her choice and walked away. Beca facepalmed, mortified at herself. _Shit._ Chloe even was looking at Beca like _'What the hell is wrong with you?'_ Chloe tried to move forward with conversation.

"So, Liara, I heard from Jane that you now have a prothean aboard the Normany? Has that helped your studies in any way? Are you still planning to publish that book? I'd love a copy." Liara perked up at Chloe's questioning.

"Well, he's not what I expected, things rarely are. So far he refuses to inform me much of anything. I've learned some things from observing his mannerisms in battle and on the Normandy, so there is some progress. If I can gather enough of his cooperation, I will hopefully publish my findings, yes. And you? I've seen that you won the world's championships in a cappella before the reapers came?" Chloe nodded and perked up even more, if that were possible.

"Yes! We beat the German group Das Sound Machine, and it was such an outstanding moment. It's devastating what's happening to Earth, but the competition really was something special." Chloe smiled sadly before continuing her conversation back and forth with Liara.

While those two were getting on pretty well, Shepard and Beca seemed to be having a rather intense staring match. Both women were fairly awkward when it came to informal social circumstances. Beca was afraid to put her foot in her mouth again, while Shepard wasn't sure what to talk about with the younger girl. Thankfully the waiter brought over some breadsticks. Beca just resorted to sipping her water awkwardly while Shepard stuck with drinking her scotch, somewhat upset that she couldn't have some Ryncol. That would really lighten up the evening.

Chloe seemed to be enjoying her time talking to Liara. Beca looked over at the older redhead across from her and opened her mouth before closing it. Chloe took notice and nudged her, beckoning her to say something. Beca awkwardly tapped on the table.

"So...Uh, Shepard, right?" Shepard nodded. "What kind of music do you like?" Shepard paused for a moment before smiling.

"Well, I listen to the music that's on my bedside radio. It's mostly electronica, but it's not so bad." Beca looked up at Shepard. Suddenly she started shoving the breadsticks into her purse.

"CHLOE, WE HAVE TO LEAVE!" Many of the other diners in the restaurant started looking at their table at the scene Beca was making. Chloe just turned her head, and the normally very bubbly redhead lightly placed her hand over Beca's.

"Beca, I love you, but you have to stop making a scene." Beca sighed and slowly started placing the breadsticks back into the basket on the table. Shepard was frowning at Beca, while Liara was trying to hide her giggling behind her hand. Chloe returned to her conversation with Liara while Beca and Shepard went back to their riveting staring contect. Shepard finally made an effort to start conversation.

"So…um…do you like…AK47s?" Beca raised an eyebrow. Shepard saw she was making no progress in the area of weaponry. What was that one band that Morinth had been interested in? The girl was into music, right? "Or maybe you've heard of Expel 10?" Beca's eyes grew wide.

"You know Expel 10?" This was probably the first time Beca had really smiled all night. Chloe glanced at her from the corner of her eye and grinned. Finally she was starting to loosen up. Shepard leaned back and smirked at the younger girl.

"What? Have I been living under an asteroid? Of course I know Expel 10." Beca let out a laugh at that. Shepard thought it was because she'd made a sarcastic comment, but Liara seemed unsure about it.

"What's so funny about that?" The asari asked curiously. Beca just smiled over at Chloe and kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh, it's just a fond memory. You two are definitely related." Before much more could continue the food arrived at their table. Everyone seemed satisfied with their ordered meal, but the second the eel was placed in front of her she cringed. She poked it with her fork a couple times, but it didn't make it any more appetizing. Chloe started eating her tuna rolls, but couldn't help but feel bad for her girlfriend. She split some of her food up and set it on the side of Beca's plate. Beca smiled gratefully at her.

"So, Jane, how long do you have for your shore leave?" Chloe finished off the last of her tuna rolls as she awaited an answer.

Before Shepard could respond to the question, a woman wearing an Alliance military uniform was approaching their table rather quickly.

"Commander! Commander this is urgent!" Shepard groaned and looked apologetically to the table.

"Well that was a rather short shore leave…" Shepard mumbled under her breath. Chloe, Beca, and Liara all looked understanding though, if not a bit confused. Finally the woman reached their tables and appeared a bit winded.

"Commander, I'm staff analyst Maya Brooks, Alliance Intelligence. There are people trying to kill you." Chloe gasped and Beca took her hand immediately. Liara seemed concerned, but unfazed. Shepard rolled your eyes.

"There are lots of people trying to kill me, Brooks. I'm very aware. You know, saved the galaxy only a handful of times, reapers, I think I've got it." Shepard's retort was probably a bit harsh, but this was the first real dinner she would get to have with her bondmate and family in probably a long time. For it to be interrupted for the obvious is just inexcusable.

"No! No! I don't mean Cerberus and the Reapers! I mean other people, they're attacking you specifically. Hacking into your accounts, Comm Channels, personal records, and more." Brooks seemed to be pressing the matter very seriously.

"Me? Why?" Beca could feel Chloe's hand tighten in hers immediately. Suddenly shots rang out through the restaurant. Brooks ran off while Shepard and Liara ducked behind the counter for cover. Beca pushed their table over as a barricade and held Chloe tightly to her. "Stay down!" Shepard whispered to the two girls.

As one of the enemies made his way closer to where Shepard and Liara were, Shepard grabbed him and body slammed him on the floor, quickly following up with a jab from her omni-blade. She took the pistol from his body and looked around the edge of the bar. Shepard took extreme precaution to take out the rest of the enemies quickly and as quietly as possible.

After taking down all of the hostile enemy soldiers, Shepard stood up and went over to make sure that Liara, Chloe, and Beca were all ok.

"Hey, it's all taken care of. Sorry you had to go through that." Chloe attacked Shepard in a hug, tears evident on her face. Shepard hugged her back. "Hey, kid, it's alright. This is nothing." Chloe just laughed through her tears and hugged her tighter. After another few minutes, she pulled away.

"Please be careful!" Chloe wiped her eyes and took Beca's hand in hers for support. Finally the four noticed Brooks on the ground across the restaurant. They made their way over and Shepard knelt down to assist her. As she was doing so, there was a red bream of light that was targeted at Shepard. Brooks shoved Shepard down on the glass floor as the gunman fired repeatedly. Brooks ran away from the scene as Liara grabbed a pistol from one of the fallen soldiers and shot at the last shooter. He went down easy, but then all three turned to see the glass floor cracking under Shepard. The floor shattered, and all three watched in horror.

"JANE!" Chloe tried to run to the edge, but Beca held her back.

"We can't help her. You'll fall too!" Liara on the other hand took off running towards the edge and looked down. It appeared that Shepard had fallen down a series of lights that ran along the side of the building and rolled several feet below them. Liara placed a hand to her mouth, and gasped in horror as she saw Shepard lying on the ground.

"Shepard! SHEPARD GET UP!" After a few moments, there was some movement and Shepard stood. A faint static noise came over Liara's comm unit.

"Hey, I'm ok. A little scratched up, but I'll be fine. Uh, can someone come get me in a skycar though? That would be great. Oh, and tell the kids I'm fine." Liara sighed in relief and chuckled, wiping away some tears that had started to form. She stood and allowed for Beca and Chloe to look down the hole in the floor to see Shepard waving. Chloe waved back and Beca smirked. That woman was a true badass.

"I'm going to go pick her up. Stay here." Liara dashed off moments later, leaving only Beca and Chloe standing in the restaurant filled with the fallen soldiers, broken glass, and a cowering waiter behind the bar. Beca leaned over and tapped the waiter on the shoulder. He screamed and jumped out of his skin, causing Beca to grin sheepishly.

"Uh, Check, please."


End file.
